i just had to google what happens if your dog eats your nuva ring
All I'm saying is that she needs to invest in some razors. But her head game is great. The pros and cons in last minute hook-ups
no, i'm currently making the trek across campus to get all my stuff from last night. My ID is in one guys bed, and my camera in another guy's bed.
The sad thing was my husband told her its ok to make out with me. Bar Tuesdays will live on regardless.
I fucking love your mom. She's so drunk and fully functional. I aspire to be her one day.
come home. i made deep-fried hotdogs; don't let me die alone.
So this was during drunk golfing. She started wacking me off on the ninth hole and an old couple rolls up next to us. And Says "hey gu- oh my golly" and while my penis is in her hand I'm like "sorry you guys can play through"
I need to wear something that says I would have sex with you but I'm not going to
I think I'm pregnant again.
or as we call it, thursday.
I worry about your feelings an awful lot for somebody who gets off on making you cry
I have got to stop telling people I was almost a prositute every time I drink
Everything is fine, it's not hung over in here at all\n\n*Narrator* *but in fact everything was not fine*
I should buy myself lingerie for Valentine’s Day instead of a present for you because I am the present
well true... there's not a real discreet way to masturbate in public
Learned two new lessons today: 1) Do not identify pills found in one's car by taking them to see what happens, especially while at work, and 2) There is no logical reason to keep ambien in one's vehicle...
Randomize