If you made a robot out of pillows would he be nice? It's hard to imagine a mean pillow robot. And who came up with the idea of shaving their legs?
I bet her clit looks like pig in a blanket.
like if they didnt have tits and vagina, they have no idea how uninteresting to us they would be
I'm cleaning the house. And I can't stop listening to Enrique Iglesias. Am I gay?
I even have the new album if that helps you make a decision.
I knew something was wrong when santa got arrested
This guy just told me he wanted to bathe in bong water with me and then tried to lick my nipple through my bra. This could be love.
I tried to convince the Lobo Card people to take my pic with my sunglasses on because I will probably always be this hungover.
When's a good time to tell your boyfriend you've slept with his ex girlfriend?
So ran into your ex from sophomore year last night... Apparently hes gay and a stripper now. we all got lap dances because we knew you
Guess what I'm doing tonight? Tacos and strip chess.
i may or may not have bought a plane ticket for a russian cam girl to fly here. also, can you spot me $300 on rent?
I am now picking what guy I will hang out with based on how many Pokémon they live near.
the hot lifeguard just pulled a McDonald's cheeseburger out of her fanny pack.
I don't think he knows you can have sex sober...
just took a pregnancy test before I went out drinking. if that's not drinking responsibly Idk what is.
Randomize
