I don't believe in a God but I'm almost positive I just shit out the devil.
I don't know what your problem is but seriously you're a cunt for throwing up that song on your page. It's rude as fuck
omg its myspace i didnt think anyone took that seriously anymore
Day two of vacation and my first drink of the day is a plan b colada
Was just shown the photos from a professional photoshoot my aunt had for their dog...not drunk enough for this...
Ive made peace with the fact that i will accomplish nothing except liver damage today
Valentines day isn't about being a couple in love..... It's about chocolate and faking orgasms.
Being drunk is way better. Seriously, I just licked your brother to make sure my spit was actually real.
When asked if they had been introduced, Damo said "No but I know we've pretty much fucked all the same girls in town"
Yeah when I texted her last night the only response I got was "stoned eating cobbler."
he thought it would be funny to put his dick inside a beer bottle and wear it around. until we all realized how small his dick would have to be to fit in a beer bottle
Explaining that I bought them at a strip club gift shop with my friend didnt make the furry handcuffs seem less weird
you made cordon bleu at 4am and declared you were Marshall Stewart
i feel as though me waking up and asking her if i went to the hospital was a sign that i was not okay
I was literally so lonely last night that I stopped watching a video on porn hub and just read the comments
Which one have i been cheating ON and which one have i been cheating WITH if i met them the same night & have been dividing time equally?
Randomize
