And now we're talking about squeezing babies out of vaginas...
he just asked if i would like him to change his diet so his jizz tastes better. keeper? i think so.
So theres a slight possibility i may not graduate according to planned because i was out getting laid instead of studying. And im okay with that.
It hit me after I slept with his best friends and brother, that maybe I took it a bit far
just stole 2 cases of forties from some freshman in the woods by pretending to be a cop. that ten dollar spotlight is really turning a profit
i got shots of sambuca dumped on my head last night. my bag still smells like licorice. making me nauseous.
it is a nice little reminder of the bruins dominance. if Vancouver had won, it would somehow smell of maple syrup.
All I remember is having a LONG talk with a 23 year old mother with a 5 year old kid at a bar who told me "it's not that bad"
so the x-ray technician didnt buy my story of falling off a curb. she said a fall of that height couldnt snap the bone that way. bitch called me a drunken idiot too. if she wasnt so hot i'd be angry
I know this is really fun but I don't wanna glow anymore
She just came home holding a fire hydrant. Yes a fire hydrant.
Just tapped my penis on the head and said "this will be your year buddy."
I can't decide if I'm depressed or if this is just what life without a bidet feels like.
going on fb and having 11 notifications all from you is absolutely horrifying
We could probably bang our way to enlightenment. However acid helps.
i told them you weren't like that.. and they laughed at me?
Randomize