we dont do blackfin have a good night :)
im officially scared..,i finally realized who my boyfriend reminds me of! spencer pratt
Really stoned
just sent my roommate on a cheese run
listening to techno makes your hand move faster while masterbating
I am choosing my outfit based on how fast I can get it off. Please help.
Seriously? Do you have me saved in your phone as 'check every 3 months to see if she's single yet'?
apparently it's not kosher to shit in a litter box when there's a line for the bathroom
new hobby: convincing random sorority girls around campus that we hooked up last weekend. i'm 2 for 5.
As soon as he told me I had a 'pretty laugh' I knew I'd be putting out more than I had originally planned.
See this is what happens when we don't have sex everyday
I woke up to a gnawing sound in the middle of the night and asked him what it was. He told me it was the family of squirrels that lives in the wall and to go back to sleep.
I made him say "i realize i'm cheating on my girlfriend" five times aloud before i would hook up with him. Somehow that has to lessen my bad karma
Also I just learned you, Samantha, and I three-way made out at my Halloween party. News to me.
Just remember that I named his dick Robo-cock before he got into the sheriff's department.
I told him we could use my stove to make weed brownies, from that point on he kept reffering to me as "best pledge ever"
Randomize
