my girlfriends now gay ex-boyfriend kissed me. tell maddie i can't hangout today
i love how you can even make your typing come across bitchy
Lady next to me is getting american flags airburshed on her nails. god bless the ghetto.
Don't worry we didnt bang. Sometimes I just bring guys home so I don't order pizza.
her moans were so awkward that i kept asking "what" when she'd say my name...
If I have to take him to the hospital, I'm drawing dicks on his face
Taking shot for every red box on your worst bracket. I have 30. I might die tonight.
I have to overdose on valtrex I had a rough weekend.
Had to awkwardly dig through all my fake ID's to get my real one so I could vote.......Model citizen over here.
I think I just accidentally agreed to become a surrogate for a gay couple
No im just getting a road beer. You got my pants?
her vagina just converted me to Judaism.
Its not chugging if its just one gulp
We went to Olive Garden so high we didn't talk and managed to be awkward enough for the waiter to ask if it was our first date
woke up with 4 bruises, 2 hickies and a bad case of rug burn. texans are dangerous.
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