we just got in the car and birthday sex is playing
that is a sign the 3 of us should have a threesome
we agree. completely
so they made cookies with their faces printed on them...I ate jaime...she tasted like poop
just chased whiskey with a pickle. i definitely recommend it
Dude they have ski ball. Anywhere that has skiball is bound to be bangin.
I guess at this point I should stop judging guys on their looks and more on their major and trust fund. Growing up sucks.
you were crying saying "if you love me you will find me a loaf of bread"
She told me to pick her up in the corner of shame and self-disgust.
I just tried to order ice cream on my bagel. I think I should just call it
I need to find parents that want to take care of a grown adult. I'm sure there's a website out there for that. Like a sugar daddy but sugar parents.
Only real friends lend their restraints to engagedfriends to fool around with married strangers.
So far my survey results are telling me to pawn the ring. Thoughts?
If there's a nuclear war you can come over. I'll feed you soup and you can rig up car batteries to power the coffee pot and toaster. We can grow tomatoes and chickens.
Sorry, i'm on a strict diet of vodka and regret
The gate guard just said to me, "I almost didn't recognize you in uniform. Welcome back." I think I need to lay off the booze.
I love you too, but sadly you're not as good at getting me out of bed as cocaine.
Randomize
