Party's warming up, a tranny just got here...
She's perfect. Funny, gorgeous, 3 tats, been through a lot, bright. I'm in love.
there is a polo shirt epidemic at this bar. also, im pretty sure i just saw the grown-up coppertone baby
One of the cleaning ladies on my floor just screamed from the bathroom
Just spit on a sock to clean a spot on my glass table. Oddest combination of so lazy and motivated ever.
At home depot. Final room inspection is tmrow, gotta paint over the puke stains
Okay Im going to go have some sex apparently. I hope this chick is prepared the zero effort Im going to put into it.
The bad decision stars are too close to aligning to risk this tonight.
Oh that's what I forgot last night.. To make out with her.
Of course I will... FYI I just gave my balls a crew cut.
trying to figure out what happened last night by looking around the apartment.
naked man under the piano. THE PLOT THICKENS.
Well I guess I'll go shower now and wash all the stripper off.
My dad slapped my ass the other day and say I was "doing the family name good". I feel...proud
Ccatlin cimbing thru th sunroof plz come
He punched me in the face while giving him road head, because he was driving stick. I shit you not.
Randomize
