who do you think you are?
someone who doesn't ask that question
Yay Minnesota! I can't believe there's now a US Senator who has taken more acid than we have
boyfriend complimented me on my new prada shoes today. he is officially either gay or the man im gonna marry. knowing my luck it's all of the above.
Seriously, it was like sucking my thumb.. and im not even saying that to be spiteful b/c he is a really nice guy.
How the hell did he get a boner in that type of situation?
Thanks for buying me a sippy cup, its so pretty and everyone keeps telling me its probably the best gift anyone could have given me
He should get nipple rings. No homo...I actually don't think there is a way to make it non gay.
Yeah you should have just let that thought go.
it wasn't until he got that douchey haircut that i started regretting sleeping with him
You know my ex in high school who cheated on me and dumped me right before prom? A decade later, I just saw her again...working at an Arby's. it was a good day...
I just hooked up with the same bartender my dad cheated on my mom with in the 90s. Not sure how this makes me feel.
family traditions my good sir
Because of my cut offs, my brother is convinced I fucked a girl so hard she forgot to take her pants. Fairly accurate.
Balls deep in an Orange is the New Black marathon. Bring food and drugs.
I have accepted that I am a sexual predator. What I can't accept is the lack of sexual men for me to seduce in this town.
No one with a hairstyle like that is allowed to insult anyone for anything
U wanna come over and watch talidaga nights. Ill make pancakes
What? It's 130 in the morning.
Aww come on i make bomb ass pancakes
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