Viking lives by an ancient code of honor that we do not understand.
What code could that possibly be? Bothering the fucking shit out of people while being physically repulsive?
Do you reaalllllly want to put "porn editor" on your resume?
I got "discovered a new religion high" last night
if he only knew that in between each sext i was puking.
He didn't seem too mad about the puke on the side of his car. You still have a chance.
This dude is being a total douche
Just because it's Christmas Eve does not mean the liquor store has to give you a free bottle of peppermint schnapps
I can't believe you broke a Paula dean wooden spoon over my ass
Road construction signs are deceptively heavy
I put the condom across her upper lip. It was like a mustache of a job well done.
I feel I should make it clear.....I'm not stalking you, I'm stalking ur dick. You don't even need to talk when you get here. At 4am I think we'd both prefer that anyway.
well I was pissed. first he yelled at me for having my own condoms, then he got mad when they didn't fit him. Dude, I only fuck magnum men.
ur mom makes the best bacon
WHAT ARE YOU DOING IN MY HOUSE
Just ran into her dad at the strip club. He bought me a dance. I think i found a winner.
You should probably come home from vacation now. I make badddd decisions when you're gone.
You think my vibrator will be okay in the dishwasher?
Randomize
