Drunk x Brooklyn = problems getting home. If I don't make it you can have my computer and my bitches. You're welcome.
while cleaning my room, i've found many wonderful things. one of these is the card you gave me for my eighteenth birthday. it's a christmas card that says "i want to stick it in your sponger"
i think i pulled off the nice guy thing too well. it just backfired later on when she thought i was actually nice.
Alcoholism comes in two forms... Us.
no, i'm currently making the trek across campus to get all my stuff from last night. My ID is in one guys bed, and my camera in another guy's bed.
Only you could be admitted to the ER and walk out with a nurse's phone number. I wish I was gay
I want to figure out a way to work "if you suddenly die, I might turn into an extreme hoarders" into my valentines day poem
Talking to friends parents while buying all the things needed for Jell-O shots. classic
Ideas I've had tonight: An entire movie based off the Pixar lamp jumping on stuff.
I'm so glad you support me having casual sex with your uncle
I AM EATING BACON AND CHEESE. FUCK THE BULLSHIT.
Is it weird that I have your number saved in my phone as baby Jesus?
i told them you weren't like that.. and they laughed at me?
just saw those girls we met the other night. i happen to be wearing a bunny suit and driving your smart car. i think its safe to say thats a no go situation.
Apparently we fucked, I kicked him out, then he came back and we did it on the coffee table and in the kitchen.
Randomize
