He uses pillows to masturbate.
As it would turn out, "jesusssssss" is not the password to enter Faith Chapel's wifi network.
Pre-game strategy: play thunder by yourself in the shower. Surprisingly, success.
Did I crawl through the hotel lobby all the way to our room?
at least if we puke, we will be surrounded by beautiful, non-judgemental trees.
Last night in my drunkenness I bought hurricane supplies which included a jug of wine and a bouquet of flowers. Apparently I'm going to woo Irene.
What ever happened to the whole 'innocent until proven guilty' thing. Like 'not pregnant until proven pregnant'. That's how it should be...
They drank shots out of my cleavage. Surprisingly, the one who did the best was a gay guy.
I've said it before and I'll say it again: your tits are a danger to gay men everywhere.
This is why i like single justin better. my only regret is not being present for more of his short life. may he rest in peace
I WAS JUST SITTING HERE BEING SNIFFED BY ODD WOMEN FOR A SOLID 5 MINUTES. My face was a twist of utter fear and confusion...
Every time I start to think he's just not worth the trouble, he puts his face down there and I wanna buy him a car
I am pretty great at coffee and mistakes
Don’t worry I was with my ex husband for 10 years and he could never remember the year I was born, when our dating anniversary was or what year I graduated high school. But I still know that mother fuckers SSN lol
Ok next time we are filming it. You bring the camera and I'll buy more socks
He had been licking my nipple for like 5 minutes and it wouldn't get hard. He asked me to lick my own and when I did, instant hardness. I realized I'd rather have sex with myself then this guy ..
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