I'm pretty sure I have jizz on the back of the dress I wore to church. Awesome.
So he says he needs "alone time" a day that he doesnt have to deal with anyone. should i be concerned?
I think in guy language thats " Im fucking someone else and dont want u catching me"
a woman just threw her tv out the window while screaming "will you fucking work now?". i'm never moving
Send me the video of myself under the polar bear skin. It's important.
I wasn't trying to be rude when I hurriedly walked past you, but I can not put in to words exactly how bad I had to shit.
hoooly shit dude in taco costume challenged alpha douche to a fight. he's got catch phrases. come. now.
I remember saying to him "Fun fact! If you lie this way it's easier to deep throat!" I even judge me.
i've written a new chapter in the saga of unexpected dongs
We had sex in the morning in pregnant lady position. Like fuck me like the hott piece of ass that I am, not your wife of 7 years.
Just smoked a joint with the hottest patient. God I love night shifts.
He's a loser but she says we just don't see the good stuff about him. It's like she's dating the Charlie Brown Christmas Tree.
You have set the bar insurmountably high with apple pie and buttsex.
Can someone please remind me later tonight that there's a taco in my purse. I may get drunk and forget I put it there
I've never been so excited to be bleeding from my vagina.
I woke up in nothing but my socks and my hat a cigarette in my mouth and a beer in my hand..........GREAT NEW YEARS
Randomize
