I'm looking for sex. Do you know her?
another moral hangover. fuck.
The online application for Mcdonald's said I could do incredible things there. Today I threw out shit filled underwear in the women's restroom and escorted a very drunk/high 42 year old man outside after he ordered a 5 dollar foot long and a bloody mary.
She counted 5,6,7,8 then intentionally kneed herself in the eye numerous times.
Really?!? Does he think blocking me on FACEBOOK means that he doesn't have a kid with me?!
how much ball-pain constitutes an emergency?
Haha I'm surprised I didn't see you I was drunkenly buying $70 in merchandise including a vibrating cock ring at that cvs around that time
We found him wrapped up in a giant table umbrella in the bathroom.
I've got a permanent seat at the "Girls who eat their feelings" table this weekend.
What do you mean you don't want me to steal the manikin do you have any idea how expensive inflatable dolls are I can't get that for your birthday
My dad used the quotation mark gesture with his hands when he asked how my "roommate" was doing.
That may be because I drunkenly sent him a pick of you two curled up together like kittens. Two very buff kittens.
The gas station was closed so we found old PBR and played Edward Nalgene Hands instead
She gave me a roadie as we drove home from fireworks. People were still lighting off their displays as we drove by. I love America.
She made me baby bird juul smoke to her while we were fucking
I would but he’s not speaking to me because I put ketchup in his socks.
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