Yeah, getting the HI-fiVe would really put a damper on my whoring around.
No... We were arguing over whose family is more dysfunctional... Then my brother stumbled in and puked all over jakes ugly dog.
his mom cheated on his dad so i think he has a weird freudian thing for whores
The last thing I remember is trying to split my bridesmaid dress down the back like the incredible hulk.
and you succeeded.
I got offered a handle of vodka and tomato soup to bring his dog home. He knows me all too well.
All i remember is Liz dragging me home yelling at me, crying, and barfing
The waitress just told me I'm asking alot. So far I've asked for a soul, an angel and carbombs
He's a fucking asshole. Who gives good head. And seriously I have never seen someone less committed to hair color
she opened a can of olives, drained the juice and poured ranch dressing in. oh and 'croutons' (saltines) on top...
I have a txt file I don't remember making open on my desktop. All it says is "what it's like to be a bat"
Drunk you wants to be petty, not you you.
Hey now one little girl thought it was cool I was covered in blood. Apparently according to her Mom she wants to be a surgeon when she grows up
Although the guy I'm messing around with just offered to let me be his rich brother's sugar baby
he’s basically the devil with a fuck boy hair cut and chlamydia
I made him dinner in just his cowboy hat and my boots after we did it...you should see his face :)
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