He looked like the mexican version of Steve Carrell with a unibrow.
god help us all. i just saw an infant wearing a onesie that said "i don't know who my daddy is"
i wonder if detective benson from law and order takes those handcuffs home. i bet she does.
Life lesson: using the oven as a heater= $500 electric bill
I'm getting the same feeling waiting for the web-page to load that has my final grades that I get when I take a pregnancy test. I think I'm gonna leave my computer for 3 minutes.
Apparently my gaydar only works on americans. Frenchie capris has two topless chicks in our kitchen making him breakfast.
Jenny was looking for something soft to drink since it's only noon, she chose spiced rum. Think she might die today
casually drinking alone with your cats. do they like sparks?
Watching her eat just hurts me
He showed up at my front door with Plan B and a rose...
I will have to bone him sometime between now and July so he will move all my shit again
You know you're doing college wrong when you have to bail your RA out of jail
I would reevaluate a bf who is happy with other guys doing me.
Your vagina is like Nancy Drew lately.
Woke up next to my vibrator and a recipe for fudge brownies. If that doesn't scream I NEED TO GET LAID, then I don't know what else could.
Randomize
