Where are you???
With some dude on the way to his house to blaze
You went back to a stranger's house????
He isn't a stranger...he used to be on kids, inc.
I love LA.
Some girl just toasted to friendship and love. I want to break her neck.
walk of shame with early morning football tailgaters. niice.
nah, its part of my diet to keep track of the servings of everything i put into my body
how many servings is brandon's dick?
How did your new apartment party go last night?
I'm really happy i have a bigger bathroom to puke in.
she insisted that i refer to her boobs by name.
Just so we're clear. I'm still making jello shots and bringing them to the bar in my purse. I don't care if its half off margaritas. Don't want anyone thirsty
I'm pretty sure I told everyone in the bar I hadn't had sex in five months. And then I offered everyone calamari.
Don't smoke out front when you get home there's gasoline involved I'll tell you later
I left for five minutes and Chris wound up half in women's clothes, half naked. And the naked half was covered in shamrock stickers.
Also I'm at the pub and there are old lady pirates gyrating on a pole. I wish you were here.
When your job has killed your spirit to the point that you don't want to flirt with the cute, tall guy at Enterprise
GIRL PLEASE. GO BACK AND POP THE TITTY OUT
Dude in the stall next to me shitting and sobbing. Dude another stall over, "Come on bro, you gotta loosen up." This is why I don't shit in public.
What happened lastnight it looks like I had sex with edward scissor hands....my back is so messed up
my bad i broke a mirror over your back
QUIT BEING A BITCH, DRINK SOME PEPTO, AND PUKE ON OUR FOES
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