Too bad my thesis topic isn't "defining a hot mess: a study in drinking, smoking and other bad life decisions."
Like... Chilling at home with a movie, hang out? Or have sexual intercourse in the backseat if his car, hang out?
To justify your stumbling you just kept yelling 'it's the boat, not the drinks' We hadn't even left the dock yet....
dinner is belligerent. she just poured the rest of the pitcher of margaritas into a take home box. people are staring.
I can't wait to find out the true size of his penis! Please maintain enough sobriety for an accurate report.
It's like I just got slapped in the face with the cock of nostalgia.
I call it a party but only because that sounds better than 8 people getting drunk around a pool.
For the past year I have been the most responsible I have ever been in my entire life and now spring break is here and there is free penis just traipsing around my entire town. The game is afoot.
He told me to be careful with the shrooms because he mostly had caps left. He sounded apologetic but that's the best news all week.
dude I don't even care if I'm getting catfished the point is I'm going to get laid. hot bitch, fat bitch, skanky bitch, i don't care my penis is having an adventure tonight regardless
Did I come home in a police car last night? id come downstairs to ask you but i dont think my legs work anymore
He was eating my ass and came up for air, I almost choked laughing because he had a toilet paper cling on stuck in his mustache
Have you ever given your heart and soul to someone and they turn out to be nothing but a great fuck that makes a mean grilled cheese because same
So after the absinthe shots_____(fill in the blank area for me please)......
so he'll eat food out of a dumpster but he won't lick your ass?
Randomize
