Holy cold harsh reality of sobriety batman
We had two amazing nights in a row...it was so weird...I couldn't even go to sleep cause I thought maybe it was just in his plot to kill me.
dude, boobs are like the porridge in goldylocks
he suggested we appoligize to eachother. then do blow and painkillers & have ourselves a make-up party.
tagging him in all 73 close-ups of your cleavage might have been a little obvious.
You paid the taxi driver with a comb last night.
and my loofah got caught on my nipple ring in the shower today. what an awful experience.
We made a drinking game out of Project Runway. Gay guys are so fun.
There is a reason for guards on beard trimmers I just clipped a wrinkle on my sack so much blood
Well my summer started by me waking up in a tube on the side of the pond this morning with 2 of my friends. So that's good..
I just want to dump glitter on my floor and roll in it like a cat in catnip.
I just remembered touching your bosses wife's fake tits last night. Thanks again for taking me to your work function.
CUT OFF ALL YOUR HAIR COME ON MAN LET'S DO THIS
If body pillows had a built in vibrator attached I would literally never need a boyfriend again
I don't really care where everyone ended up, but is everyone alive and not in jail?
Not in jail
Alive?
Randomize
