i mean i cnt help that this campus has the highest STI rate
I thought she had blonde hair
No, Gonorrhea actually
I told him it tasted like his mom..needless to say we were asked to leave.
my phone vibrated itself into my puke bucket and literally sizzled. you'll have to reach me at this number for a while.
and I asked her"are you allergic to condoms latex like your older sister " she said "Idk this is gonna be my 1time"
If you weren't supposed to have sex with your ex then they wouldn't rhyme.
Me and my vagina aren't speaking at the moment.
Make sure your heart doesn't explode. These are words of wisdom.
She has a lazy eye!
My other option is a hardwood floor
This guy at the airport was telling me 3/4 dudes in his group got rufied at some strip club. One guy woke up in the hospital, another found himself in a random parking garage, the other got back to the room and they all shit their pants. Go Vegas.
I was walking back to the dorm and was made fun of for wearing a coat. I'M SORRY I CARE ABOUT MY WELL BEING.
Worst case scenario- he paid me for sex with meatloaf. There are worse thing, right? I mean at least is was good meatloaf.
My condom drawer is now filled with W-2s and tax return documents. Is this adulting?
Masturbated while waiting for my face mask to dry, so it was a productive night.
Is there a number of dicks a girl can have in a weekend before it becomes unacceptable? Asking for a friend
Remember! It’sa long weekend and a holiday weekend and it’s America’s birthday! So don’t short change me!
I thought you were asking for a friend
Randomize
