My mom caught just caught me jerking off...in her room.
I stood up and a chip flew out of my shirt and landed in the chip dish. I just walked away.
So I just did the walk of shame at dunkin... A lady told me me I was really dressed up and I told her I was going to a luncheon.
I just had a cup of orange juice and thought it didnt taste right. It didnt have vodka in it.
We are the drunkest people in Toys R' Us right now
If you're still on campus there's a jack and coke in the bathroom of fondren science Bldg. Too strong to bring to class.
I passed out in all my clothes. like my purse too..and with a cup of water next to me..and my last tweet last night was "Bye."
She's on her period. You don't know what fear is.
man my uterus needs to drop the egg or GTFO, BUUUSHIT
like I licked Molly off a boys palm last night at a bar I think its ok to eat chicken once a week
Weirdest drunk sex ever. His sweat dripped into my eyeball and then he looked down and asked me why I was crying. I went with it.
we had sex in his office so i figured it was appropriate to like his company's page on facebook
i like that he makes me laugh. those are like my two favorite things. laughing and fucking.
part of it says your brother mayyyy have put his lips on my vagina
I threw up outside. Then I peed got off the toilet and threw up. While I threw up u pulled up my pants. Not my best moment
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