how was the sex?
he smelled like pickles and burnt hair.
well, there's that.
After we had sex, she played this little piggy with my toes
I'm going to show my kids 2 girls 1 cup just to scare them away from porn
Of course my walk of shame coincided with the alumni marathon on campus. But, I did get a thumbs up from the woman handing out water.
We're attempting to get a tally of how may people puked last night...Please respond with your vomit status.
Just break the ice by asking who had to take plan b this past semester
I called my dad at 3 a.m. because I thought he'd be proud that I didnt get arrested. Daddys little girl at her finest...
i have a queen bed, a cherrywood bed frame, and gold sheets. how are you saying no to me right now?
After i finished him. He goes "youre a champion"... Then whispers "forever"
Maybe we should invest in one and when one of us wishes to be a hot mess in a wheel chair the other one will push the mess around to wherever it wants to go.
Let's get matching tattoos, something that resembles our friendship
A tequila worm?
Yeah no problem. What are blow job angels for anyways
I got laid two nights in a row
And none for Gretchen Wieners...
Birthday wine tasting got super shambly super quickly. I am covered in cuts/bruises/terrible life decisions.
If I slept with her my dick would come out glittery
coward.
Randomize
