And just as he was about to come, he screamed "Oh Christy!!"
What's wrong with that? Your name IS christy.
He then said, "Oh shit, sorry Julie."
Okay call me later ill be watching lifetime and scrubbing throw up off my feet
WHY DIDN'T ANYON E TELL ME SHE WAS SIXTEEN
This girl told me I had the balls of an infant..I replied by saying her vagina looks like Stargate.
I don't remember which guy I met at the bar is coming to pick me up. It will be like my birthday surprise.
She used the word "fragged" in proper context. tell me that's not bust-nut hot.
You defs just slept for 6 hours in a porta pottie. You should probably just kill yourself.
She is crazy, dude. She actually bit me on the gootch.
My chest hair is, as we speak, arching upward to embrace my neck beard. The union will be a storied one.
He was like Sweeney Todd... But, without the killing people part.
So... He's a barber?
No. He's got crazy hair, and a revenge fetish. But he's hot. Does that make up for it?
i seriously haven't spoken to him since i drunk dialed him and told him i loved his beard
Watched an eagle swoop down and eat a rabbit on my walk back from your place, literally too high to handle this right now
It looks like I jerked off a rainbow.
I just bought a butt plug on Amazon prime day and you're the only person I felt would appreciate that decision
My hands smell like vagina and ham.
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