We need to either start getting drunk more often or one of us need to start doin drugs
Wtf? Why?
I want awesome conversations to show the world.
i'm at the point now where i want him to say anything. even an apology for his boomerang-shaped penis would be nicer than no comment.
And whoever invented the condom should be put to death.
How can it be called memorial day weekend....I don't even remember this weekend
3rd rule of buttsex she must be clean and shower recently
and skipped dinner
I managed to lose everything but my socks.. which stayed on all 6 times we had sex.
he put $150 on the cabs dash so 9 of us could pile in and ride 3 blocks to the apartment.
I'm sitting in the breakroom facing a very large sign that says "inappropriate workplace behaviors", and i can't help but feel like it is directed at me
he just kept repeating "those were some pretty nipple-y tits" over and over the rest of the night
I stopped hooking up with him and ran to the bathroom to throw up. He saw me throwing up and it made him throw up
You've seen the quality of dick pics I normally get. The bar is high.
I'm bonding with your girlfriend. I like her. We're plotting your demise.
only i would get off to receiving death threats online
I may or may not be drinking in a church parking lot.
You'll be pleased to know I just had an elaborate day dream about your penis. you were there too.
Randomize
