Taking a 35 year old indonesian home, only in vegas ;-)
sometimes when i'm walking through campus i wonder how many of these people have seen me puke
Oh. He liked you.
Then you said "Are you asian?, I didn't know there was Asians in Colorado."
I think I dropped my cock ring in your back yard
It hurts to peel the glue off my chest and i keep finding glitter in my hair.
I just wanted to decorate you...
Her facebook status said "just got a sign from god". I texted her and apparently she found a slice of pizza in the shower.
You almost married that.
Dude that girl I hooked up with Tuesday is in lecture. I told her I was from the Dominican visiting my cousin and was leaving the next day. Hiding under my hood and hangover.
Nothing says "lifelong friendship" like FaceTiming in a sex shop.
He said he remembers me...standing on a snowy roof, smoking a blunt, yelling "you're pretty fly for a white guy" at him. Sounds about right.
I have a bottle of vodka wrapped in a leg warmer in my purse. This is what it takes to get through Christmas with my family.
He was so energetic. It was like screwing a bunny.
Every guy I've ever fucked is single right now
Pray for me
Lost my anal v card with Peter Thiel's RNC speech on in the background. Unbelievably appropriate
he told me he wanted me to go see his cat. apparently i was more interested in playing with his cat then having sex.
That would involve putting on clothes and I don't think I can face that right now.
Randomize
