Asian hipster sighting. About to tackle him and ask him to take me to chinatown
too bad you live with your parents still
is it wrong to smoke out middle schoolers?
yes...dear jesus what did you do?
bwahaha. ask your little brother in about 20 minutes. im dropping him off.
at least 'blackout me' had enough sense to take the puke covered duvet off the comforter.
I was in bed at 845. Affairs take a lot out of people
How does me getting a new dildo make you crave olive garden
I'm gonna have to flying elbow somebody tonight in memory of Macho Man
So "Abstinence August" was a bust. Maybe I'll try for "Sex-free September" or "Only if we're facebook official October"
Last time i was there we saw the window of the pizza place we were at get busted, we were pulled out of a taxi to be questioned by the cops, and we peed outside a waffle house. I'm in.
the bandages come off on Tuesday. we can try out my new breasts then.
Walked in on my roommate covering his dick in blue frosting. Am staying with my folks for the Forth. See you Monday if the brain bleach works.
10 shots in she's sitting on the floor using the open dishwasher door as a plate to eat her "life giving" pizza.
WHY THE FUCK DID I HAVE TO FALL IN LOVE WITH A CONVICT
we've dated a week and made out twice. he is taking it slow. but his body is stupid sexy. just want him to stop respecting me and fuck me like a gutter slut. respect me later im not getting younger.
You're a FUCKING ASSHOLE. Love mom
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