Pretty sure my dad just walked in on me jerking off watching guys on webcam. Remember how I used to say "most awkward day of my life?" I'm retiring that phrase.
the third sister isn't as attractive as the other two but I will do her anyway to finally pull off the fabled family hat trick.
You told her the u were going to wrap your dick around her neck and start her like a lawn mower. thats why she left.
Just hooked up on shake weight girl's dad's porsche. What are YOU doing with your life?
I think i blacked out...but i remember licking your teeth
Just orgasmed in canada. I should get a sticker or something that says I orgasmed in a different country.
Send me the video of myself under the polar bear skin. It's important.
i've never been that scared in my life. i ran naked into the corner and he just stood there trying to shield his boner from the light.
I may puke in class so I'm excited to see how that goes
If I ever go to Canada, I'm fucking the maple syrup out of his Canadian ass.
LOOK AT MY ASS AND LEGS IN THIS SKIRT. I KNOW ALL THE BEST HIDING SPOTS IN THIS BUILDING. AND I OFFER TEQUILA.
I'm finally in my bed, my pants are off, and there's no pee on my carpet this is the best life has been all day
This bar smells like your ball sack. In a weird way I miss you.
I know but we're going to blackout city so it'll probably be warm there
Is she talking about a testicle cuff or just a cock ring? How did you meet this girl?
Is there a big difference?
It’s about the same as the difference between a night of drunken sex with a stripper at the Bellagio and being robbed and left for dead by a crystal meth tweaker
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