he looked upset that i wasn't completely shaven. i reminded him he had begged. and beggars can't be choosers.
I'm sorry..where i come from learning how to exploit a wealthy middle aged man is a right of passage
we are going to smoke at least three blunts before we go see Cloudy with a chance of meatballs. I'm going to have my mom make us spaghetti for when we get out so can your mom make those spicy meatballs? I thought I'd give you 9 days notice so everything's perfect.
I honestly get shocked all over again every time I pull his pants down. It's one of those feelings you never get tired of.
We got three kegs and a backhoe. Now taking bets on what charges we end up getting arrested for. Will need bail money.
I expected to wake up with a sext of you posing nude and all I got was a missed call.....disappointed.
I'm sorry I think it was because I lost a chicken nugget in my purse and that's all that was on my mind until 4am
It was ths the worst 15 minutes of my life. . . It was like fucking a warm stick of butter.
He rode a broom down the stairs while we were mattress surfing. Naked. Buck ass naked. WTF
Last time i was there we saw the window of the pizza place we were at get busted, we were pulled out of a taxi to be questioned by the cops, and we peed outside a waffle house. I'm in.
Let's get drunk and put things on the grill that have no right to be there.
Happy birthday, America.
I got "plug" during family Catch Phrase and struggled to not make a reference to butt plug so I skipped it
I think God is sending me all these 20 year olds to make up for wasting my 20's in that crappy ass marriage. Thanks Big Guy!
I just watched my high school guidance counselor pee in the backyard of this party.
My friend just got engaged and I'm setting vibrators on fire.
Your life rocks...
you tried to make the parrot smoke your joint
Randomize
