Well whatever you do have, it sure worked on me.
A Penis?
it only takes four glasses of wine for me to ride an elephant with a stranger.
watching hot guy on train scrolling with his blackberry's track ball... o to be that track ball...
Somehow she slept thru the vacuuming, people walking in and out, and the sound of constant beer bottles hitting the trash, but when someone said weed in a regular volume of voice she startled awake.
I have now slept with people from more countries than Ive actually visited. Can we make this a game somehow? Like foreign fuck buddy bingo?
I have discovered that there is nothing that a giant penis attached to a southern accent can't talk me into. yee-haw!
You could become Eskimo brothers with my dad. How can you pass that up? You pussy.
The sad thing was my husband told her its ok to make out with me. Bar Tuesdays will live on regardless.
Please don't place wagers on my sex life unless you are giving me a cut. With my current sluttiness I feel like I deserve 40% for how much money you'll make
Let's go get coffee and handcuffs.
He was playing minecraft so I took a shower with my vibrator
Mom said it is up to us to plan Thanksgiving. Hooters or Scores?
Or???
I got all the way to work before I realized there were Trojans in my bra.
Hahaha. I'm so high, this is gonna be so intense. Even the DVD menu scared the shit out of me.
My mother just set me up with the son of the man I fucked last weekend. I could crawl under a rock and die OR I could remember the rules of genetics and hope that JR takes after daddy. Wish me luck...
Randomize
