I glued a penny on the door Tricia believes its Patrick Swayze haunting our apartment. Fuckin potheads.
awesome recipe for disaster- bar hopping at the airport
for future reference: anal bleach BEFORE boozing
I don't know what happened to get you in this mentality. This time last year your were ass up on a hotel bathroom counter getting licked by a stranger.
Bullshit. No way. If I brushed past your penis it was completely coincidental.
Have I told you recently that I love you, if for no other reason than you make my irresponsible substance abuse look tame by comparison?
My roommate says its rare that you can be tear gassed before you lose your virginity so i feel accomplished in life
Actually, you don't want to see me.. reached an all time low drinking kahlua out of the bottle concealed in a macdonalds bag
got one for peeing in public....called the cop a donut dunking communist...should be a fun court appearance
I may have just made our entire microwave glow green. Like big green. Like spark and make me shit green.
Like worse than the time I blew up the microwave with the egg green.
Not much, just taking another sorting hat quiz while waiting for this porno to finish buffering
Do you think it's wrong for me to hop on that dick before he realizes that he's gay?
How does a face ride mean we're back together?
is it still the walk of shame if his dad gave me a 'thanks for sleeping with my son' head nod on my way out this morning?
Actually, my eyes didn't start bleeding until the next day. So it was a pretty awesome night overall.
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