I wish my mouth had a period so that could be my excuse on those days I don't feel like giving head
We woke up next to each other with a mutual look of disgust, and then he left. I knew I should have gone for the younger brother.
hiding in a bush to avoid a seven dollar cab ride. cabby got out a flashlight and looked for us for like an hour. help.
In fairness it was pretty good sex, but I still wasn't expecting the mass cheering and applause he got on leaving my tent
can you please explain how one drink turns into 5 street signs with their poles lying around my room
Doing Jager Bombs on a Sunday morning is justified...How else is my team going to win?
She kicked in my bedroom door in only high-heals with a bottle of wine, announcing it was "cock-o-clock"
Oh no, we smoked the revival weed. It came in a Batman bag. It hit like justice. And orphans.
I just don't understand how she's willing to go through so much planning and effort just to get a dick inside of her
Everybody posting sickening holiday couple pics and I'm over here deepthroating a bottle of whiskey.
Morning! Got your 3am VM to remind you to get up for spin class and also confirm you were not murdered by the sketchy guy at brunch yesterday. So this is your literal and metaphorical wake up call.
He'd never survive you. Is there a boot camp for pre-heather training?
I'm like a sensual ninja. You turn your head for a second and.... BOOM I'm naked. It's like a naughty magic trick.
I have never been that aroused while laughing my ass off in my life
I’m sorry I pressured you for dick pics.
Randomize
