Theres a random in my bed. Omg but at least he's a law student?
you could play connect the dots with the people ive fucked in this room
I think I'm going to die by hangover. I'm in my spanish class. So I guess I'm going to be muerte.
This is the guy who showed up to the first day of class with a 24 pack of coke and a handle of rum in his backpack. He doesnt play by normal people rules.
You would think that someone would have been sober enough to object to vodka bong races.
just letting you know, you took a hit of the blunt while sleeping. happy birthday
Do you think they make a "sorry in my drunken debauchery I dropped a pumpkin off the balcony and you happened to be standing right there/get well soon" card?
He was so drunk he was throwing the bowling balls into other lanes on purpose. He still beat my high score thought.
There where 3 half naked girls passed out on the pool table, I crawled under it and just as I was about to go to sleep some guy walks up and says: "dude nice spot" walks away and comes back with a pillow.
I just trimmed my bush to manageable levels. I'm gonna take a nap and then get in there and finish the job.
Did I let your boyfriend smear a banana into my face last night? Because I have pictures that are telling me I did....
Would you paint my ceiling for oral sex?
You have my heart. You only share my vagina.
Her mom Is so hot that when she was bending over i just zoned out starin at her ass her dad slapped me on the back an said let me tell you son everything you see here is mine and you had better realize i felt like simba
Nothing kills the mood like opening another guy’s dick pic in bed
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