The bars here don't close until 4!
my legs don't close until 4
names aren't important. just tell him all you want is a lil make out sesh and keep it moving.
Somehow I managed to make my Dunkin Donuts uniform look slutty. And I'm not even wearing hoops.
beeferoni + vodka = puke stuck in braces.
We had to coat check the pizza.
Hey we need to step our game up. Dad has us beat; he stole a vending machine once.
I whispered "you're doing a great Job" when he was fucking me. Then high fived him.
don't worry i won't let him get attached. I put on my Hulk onesie after sex and yelled I SMASHED YOU. never seen a guy looked so confused.
Last night you made me help you pick the raisins out of a kashi bar and acted like it was the most important thing to ever happen to you or our friendship
I really wanted to pound but her roomate was making mac n cheese n shit so I was trying to time her moans to the drone of the microwave
Dad danced with a girl half his age and her boyfriend just sat at the bar and waited for dad to be done. I bought pity nachos.
There are far too many naked dudes in your apartment, and they aren't even watching porn. I mean seriously, they've got the Lion King on.
I'm at a sex party and there's a guy in an ICP jersey and trip pants. I see now that this is the moment in the movie of my life I recognize I have a problem
She dated an Australian guy or some dude with an accent. Normal guys don't stand a chance.
CHALLENGE ACCEPTED.
You're lucky I just like fucking you because you would really suck at being a boyfriend.
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