suddenly, hermaphrodite night sounds like a really bad idea
I want to see you in more than a weed delivering capacity
That's why you NEVER put anything a stripper gave you in your mouth
I was to drunk to walk in jimmy john's so I called and got a pickle delivered to me outside the bar , too much?
My pussy is making all kinds of justifications that my mind would have no patience for if it was still in charge
Also I have uncooked pasta. I was hoping that could get cooked at your place. Don't ask about the circumstances that I came into ownership of uncooked pasta
You motherfucker. I just had an MRI with a penny under my boob.
Can you please explain to me why there are 7 bags of tacos in my bed?
I got high and had sex with reindeer antlers on. It was magical and animalistic. Tia the season.
I am the worst person to have nipple rings I'm hanging ornaments off of then and sending everyone a tits the season to be jolly
The true debate: do I prioritize going to bed and getting more than six hours of sleep or do I prioritize washing out various grease, leaf bits, and jizz out of my hair
Woke up at my x's house. He said I talked about how much I love panda's for fourty five minutes. Then made him watch The Little Mermaid with me. Made the walk of shame infront of his mom. Things can only really go up from here.
Wait till you get home.
I'm drinking on a Thursday because I can
Today is Wednesday you jobless drunk
He still want's to kick my ass for fucking his sister, probably a bad idea to leave the bar with his ex...
ALL I WANT IN MY MOUTH IS A GLORIOUS COCK SMOTHERED IN CHOCOLATE. DICK AND CHOCOLATE; IS IT TOO MUCH FOR A GIRL TO ASK FOR?!
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