some dude just recognized me causeg he had a pic of us making out onvhis phone
She said as long as i don't wake her up she doesn't care what hole i use.
Got yourself a keeper right there.
In my junk email folder, there are literally 67 messages from Alcoholics Anonymous. What..the fuck.
My cousin's dog just exhaled smoke. My job here is done.
My girlfriend and my fuck buddy both started their periods this weekend. The good news is, neither of them are pregnant. The bad news is, I'll have to find someone else to fuck til next weekend. No wait.....that's good news too.
Your dad needs a mid life crisis affair thing, I could totally be that girl.
he forgot there was a midterm today. i watched him break his own finger to get out of it.
Just curious... Do you still have the cocks bracelet? You know, the one we pass around to whoevers been the biggest slut recently?
she left around the point i tried to tie her hair around my dick
just watched my roommates get stoned and jury rig a pulley system to pass the bowl back and forth across the room.
He has a shower chair now. So he sits and watches me shower. It's kind of creepy.
WTF moment this morning: we were getting ready to leave and he reaches under his mattress to pull out his gun. All I could do was look at him and go "really?!"
I'm literally in my bed still trying to find the energy to take my corset off so I can binge eat oreos
We both shit in the same closet in Santa Fe. Nothing is sacred anymore.
The best part of last night is not remembering half of it
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