i'm unexpectedly in a limo, eating poutine. the driver just offered me coke. good idea?
I'd do that. But we would need storm trooper helmets.
I'm so fucking pissed that I wasted my shooting star wish on him and his little penis.
Dude, I just went to take a piss and looked at my ballsack... Underneath was labled "L" and "R"
So then the officer asked you how you were getting home and you told him "very carefully"
The girl sitting next to me in class is writing her to-do list under the title 11/31.
He yelled IN THE FACE!! while cumming on my face.
I need to stop making out with boys in plain view of half my class.
He looked like Harry Potter. I had to do it.
I just want a better ending for myself. Not walking around with one sock on and my bush hanging out.
I know you claim to have a large penis but I do not believe in what i cannot see. Sort of like god.
So "Abstinence August" was a bust. Maybe I'll try for "Sex-free September" or "Only if we're facebook official October"
I will give you 100$, a blow job a day for a month and I will shave my legs according to societal standards until next November if you come recuse me from my night class right NOW.
only thing in my fruit bowl is 4 champagne corks and a jenga piece . Tuesday.
He asked if I was a pirate because my "arrrrrrrrse" was worth burying. 10/10 for effort, 20/10 for serial killer vibes.
We won like $80 last night at the casino, so if we get the Plan B we still have enough to get your basic bitch latte from Dunkin. Calm down.
Randomize
