If I was Danny Tanner and my wife died and left me with three kids I would hire a nanny rather than bringing in the sexually promiscuos uncle with a fetish for leather and rebellion and my obviously mentally ill (possibly gay) best friend Joey, who has never had a girlfriend and consistently talks in cartoon voices... a nanny is just a better choice
He went through and tagged himself on my crotch in all of my facebook pics
Have you not heard of Jennifer's supreme lust for William Shatner? She wants to eat Taco Bell off of his love handles
Fucking freshmen need to learn how to puke in the bushes outside the dorm and not in the fucking elevator.
naw. unless you want me to sit in a corner, not understand english and eat all of your cheese then i don't think it's a good idea.
Just think, this time last Cinco de Mayo you were holding me up and finding me passed out in the yard of that house.
Just had to throw up on the floor of my car during traffic on the way to work. Car next to me saw both times. Found the downside to having a job right after graduation.
Yeah, I wish I could have one upped you. But all I did was ride circles around a cop on a stolen bicycle while laughing at him for telling me to stop riding on the sidewalk.
well hes been the bathroom for like 15 mins so he either feels comfortable enough to puke/ shit in my apartment or he escaped out the window
I asked if I could borrow some condoms. She referred to herself as "a soup kitchen for whores".
Sext: Bring me pancakes from the midnight breakfast gathering please
I can't decide if I'm depressed or if this is just what life without a bidet feels like.
I have never encountered a chode in the wild
Woke up this morning to a bunch of snapchats of you drunkenly yelling at grasshoppers. Good night?
You're at a grade school volley ball game with a yeti of tequila. You've passed extra
Randomize