But honestly u used to be a cool guy and lately uve been superame(734): Superlame
my mom just told me how she used to love having sex while stoned. wtf.
Tell me the dirtiest joke you know
Sarah Palin
god, I love you
so the last visual we have of him for the next 87 weeks is him outside on the ground rolling around yelling I HATE BLOWJOBS
careful of the bathroom.... theres some drunken ninja turtles in there....
Either I'm spending too much time drinking or my perfume is starting to smell like a pineapple vodka.
He says he won't get serious until he screws an Asian and a virgin. I should just place an ad on Craig's List
Wanted: female 18-24 of Asian or partial Asian descent to fuck my ginger boyfriend. Must be willing and able to fake virginity. No emotional connection needed, just sex, just once. Further contact post sex not needed (or particularly desired)
Getting stoned and sitting front row in a legal class.. Not my best idea
Friends don't brand friends with cigars. It's not how it works.
I wish the guy I was sleeping with wasn't on house arrest.
Finding an empty bathroom to shit on campus is like the quest for the fucking Holy Grail. Except with more stench and humiliation.
I'm proud of all of us. Somehow we all survived another Jägerbomb Tuesday
when you wake up naked in a bed with glowsticks, a rolled ankle, a hangover, and a condom; alone. you wonder shit
Ah you cut my boxers off with scissors, we're way past introductions
Got any extra dick over there? I’m running low
Randomize
