The boys are giving me the exam answers and I don't even have to expose my body..yayy engineering!
Just farted cum and thought I shit myself. Crisis averted tho
Is it bad that John just came to my work to have sex with me bc I felt bad that he slept on his porch last night locked out and I missed all his calls?
there was naked duck duck goose
how does that even get suggested?!
after naked leap frog.... it wasn't that big of a deal
and then she judged me for using my bra as a potholder. hard times my friend, welcome to college.
Was that not clear on Friday when I nearly deapthroated two ice cubes?
just an fyi, false alarm on the whole ghonnorea thing. you're safe.
You're the only person that can successfully use titties and Jesus in the same sentence.
His car is rigged up like the cash cab how am i supposed to not sleep with him
Commuter bitches be judging your sister and her bag fulla wine. It's a motherfucking rosé, bitch!
World Cup Drinking Game: Take a shot every time they call a foul for something we don't understand. Gotta risk it to get the biscuit.
I'm up in my room and I just saw a naked guy sprint out into the streets from my mom's party downstairs
Oh you know, the usual. We had a good date, I took her back home, she took off my pants, laughed, and left.
Nothing says responsible like taking your birth control with an open bottle of wine you left on your night stand from the night before
I think I had Hypothermia but was too drunk to notice.
Randomize
