take it from a girl who woke up with a girl in her bed... you were not that drunk.
You kept whispering, no one does me like Jimmy Johns does me.
I just got asked if I have a rule for sleeping with people. Like they have to buy me dinner first etc...
On that note, do I have a rule?
i just saw that homeless guy who dresses like the cat in the hat at the liquor store. i guess he got enough change to have a good weekend. oh the places he'll go
sticking your hands in the toilet to wash your face is not acceptable. ever. i don't care how drunk you are.
That's terrible. At least give it a creative name like muff mobile.
My neighbor asked me to tell you to stop changing in front of their house. Do I even want to know?
Clearly that person doesn't understand how efficient getting drunk and working out at the same time is.
My mom said she saw you at the bar last night and asked how you were. She said, you replied with, "Oh you know, just knocked up."
Figured I'd get right to the point
He told me he wanted a penis beard so that he could look at girls faces when they gave him blowjobs. i have to say, i kind of admire his creativity
Blah blah blah. Just come home and put a baby in me.
Ive done some fucked up shit, but last night was the first I have Poured milk on anothers mans face in the shower.
You called me last night and said you had a vision that a cat made you a sandwich. You were tripping way too hard
He started yelling "you tha man!" while I was reverse cowgirl
Pillow talk?
can't do it. no eye contact either.
Where have you been all my life
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