i just posted a lake picture of you with a dead fish in your mouth. happy july 5th.
well,he told me "i bet you five bucks that i can right cum on the mirror with my cum" i said alright do it, lets just say he's five bucks richer...
Do you think most people who work at an airport Chili's can pin point where their lives went wrong?
we do all of our sexting over chat on words with friends, so my boyfriend doesn't know about it when he looks at my texts.
How dare you send me a picture after midnight that isn't porn. You know the rules.
I kept pulling the $1 bills off the stage and told everyone "no no no she has to work for this money"
I have no valid justification for peeing in your kitchen, but I don't think it's worth breaking up over.
He tried to use a signal flare to light the bong
And?
He melted the stem
She just laid there, sucking on a piece of steak, with the most content look on her face. Just before she passed out (steak still on her mouth) she said the cat box needed to be emptied
I walked outside an you were laying down talking to a star about your life. That's when I took the bottle of jack away...
Posting happy birthday to my grandpa on Facebook.... Then realizing my profile pic is me dressed as a slutty cop when he used to be a police officer.
Waking up in a NH rest stop and reading through my texts is definitely a familiar low
Lol I wish they went straight to your cock then shot out into my mouth like a cock nacho dispenser
For a second I thought I had fallen asleep on the floor and freaked out. Then I thought somehow I was on drugs. This is my life.
We were in a bathroom while 4 dudes compared dick piercings.
Buffalowww
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