I think we need to take a brake
What upsets me the most about that is that you spelt it 'brake'
I may or may not have started my period at the bar. Good thing I have dark jeans on.
Let's face it. We both have sexy parts. Why not have them touch?!
second attempt at shower sex: failed after the water turned orange bc of a fire up the street. this is just not meant to be
Oh by the way, john gave me your shirt to return to you when I was at work today. I almost gave him his girlfriends underwear to return to her but figured it would be inappropriate.
Neil John just started open mouth kissing everyone to make sure they are safe.
I broke my arm trying to do a hand stand in my shower to wash the hate out of my asshole.
So i walked around campus drunk and alone last night eating pizza and a lunchable from 7-11. Sat by the flag pole and drank an entire liter of water, took off my shoes to prance around in the fountain, then stepped in dog shit on the way home...barefoot.
The only people who really get me are strippers and mascots for sports teams.
He's talking about feelings now. I don't even know if he came???
How can you tell that you're blacked out ?
You can feel it in your nipples.
So uh... Did you mail me business cards that describe my profession as "tortured soul"?
Charging my vibrator at work. Pray to god I don't forget it!!!
I think I may have fully transcended this spectrum of life. I can see beams of light man. Down to the photons
What
The only downside is I can't stop skipping
Did I literally just offer a blowjob for help moving? Yes. Yes, I did.
Randomize
