just to let you know I saw you texting some Kim chick, and facebook saying she's ugly... good job you're gay now
I'm sorry for everything. i woke up with two citations stapled to my shirt.
I figure if he loans me money i only owe him sex for the rest of the summer before i pay him back, right?
it tastes like there's a party in my mouth and everyone is throwing up
I cant. I'm trying to smell my vagina.
Sorry I couldn't get my dick out
I'm drunk and I'm watching it's Alwyas Sunny and eating candy. Even I am jealosu of my life
Jake just asked if thanksgiving was an american thing...I left the table
And I just want to be like your tongue is not a FUCKING sword
What's the mantra for Sunday?
I will not have sex with him.
I know now that the cab driver can get me a 10 dollar blow job. I'm practically a local.
I think snapchat is trying to tell you something. It's saying your boobs were meant to be seen by his family.
Well obviously we have a ghost in the house who’s taking showers in your bathroom and doing our cocaine.
Tanner. All u drink. 10 bckaa. Locked in Porto potty outside. Constructed area. Main strrrreeeett. Fuck. Help. Pleese
I'm just going to tell you this I knocked up your girlfriend. I didn't mean to I thought it was somebody else I wasn't drunk but it was dark.
The truth is better her than my wife.
Randomize
