I was so drunk last night, I had to Wikipedia what i did.
I put my bosses number in my phone as "Do not call," I shouldve known my drunk curiosity would overcome any desire I had to keep my job.
again?
Vodka infused whipped cream. Shit just got real.
Think they will judge us if our pre drink is a kiddie pool of jello shots?
I just want to point out that nothing makes my hickie/hangover more obvious than sleeping in a scarf and sunglasses. nothing.
he just texted me saying he needs a place to stay for the night. pretty sure i just got booty called to my own house...
This is going to be the time I got green body paint on Chris' ceiling all over again...
We should give each other good-luck-on-your-finals head in the morning.
And then I remembered we banged to Beethoven & I was like you will never get this ass again
Who says no to sex and donuts?!
Dude, tumbleweeds have been rolling through my bed lately. This is my dryest dry spell since I was married.
Did you actually just quote Ace Ventura during a sext!?
You know it
Dammit now I have to marry you
what the fuck is wrong with you
Do you want me to go chronologically or alphabetically?
Oh BTW the next time I see you I don't care where we are your dick will be going into some part of my body.
I know that whole thing was awkward. Not worth the piece of cake.
Randomize
