I am pretty sure the guy in the stall two dwn from me is jerking it...seriously
no. i seriously look so gross with this sunburn. i wouldnt even wanna bang myself. and im really into myself.
I want to give my boyfriend great head for his birthday...can i practice on you?
help me choose which girl to send myself boning to my girlfriend to make her want to break up
which one looks the most like her?
While eating post sex burritos I dripped taco bell sauce on my boob. He licked it off and asked why I hadn't thought of that before.
I just closed two deals on my laptop from my bathroom while smoking a bowl, like a bawssss. Working from home is my favorite.
I just used a beer funnel to put gas in my car
What even was the context for that. All I have written down is "I would vote for President SnakeJaw."
UHG. i just want to have hot lesbian sex and eat pizza with you.
On a scale of 1 to alcoholic in withdrawal how ready will you be to start drinking as soon as you arrive on campus?
No just a list of 20 of my favorite things
Where are penises on the list
Where am I on the list
Under penises
that sounds horrible...
what could possibly go wrong attempting to re-enact the dinosaur capture scene from Jurrasic Park... I have the net gun and camcorder you have the dino costume and can run
we got cockblocked by his mom again...its like she has a radar on me
please stop trying to sleep with him
Why is everyone giving me a hard time for drinking?!
Your in the library.
i just turned on my printer and found 10 pounds of german chocolate inside. i think i found where you hid your candy last night
Randomize
