Me. At least after what I've been through.
there's paper in my vomit.
All I need in life is some dick and a big mac.
I finally won that bet on when the anorexic girl would pass out at the gym. You owe me 10 now
You yelled "hold my dick" before you tackled the guy away from the dj and two random girls moved to actually hold it, then argued about it. I want that whore aura!
Just did a slip and slide down a five story staircase in my dorm. Being an engineer is fucking awesome
BTW the amount of schmoozing I am doing towards some guy for an ID that may or may not look like you... You better love me.
You had the nerve to crowd surf to your own bedroom.. I guess watching Aladdin high was probably the best idea ever
I am gathering blankets and bags of horse grain to pad my truck bed so I have a comfy place to crash when I get home, without the inconvenience of stairs. Or doors. Or walking. But with the refreshing scent of molasses.
Haha I haven't even had my interview yet and I'm already trying to fuck my way to the top. 'Merica.
My attempts to make you laugh have failed exceedingly. Naked snap chats it is
I sobered up and saw I was with the fat one and you had left laughing with the hot one. You're a terrible wingman, but an excellent manipulator
Sorry I disappeared. Do you hate me?
Not at all, did you not hear me clapping outside your car on our way out?
Couldn't find my swimsuit top anywhere this morning but finally found it in the skimmer of the pool so thats how my night apparently went
We took three cabs to get home, the first one dropped us off a block away, so we went back to the hotel and tried again
Randomize
