so i completely puked my brains out. a lot. he held me up so i could brush my teeth. then we proceeded to hook up for the next four hours.
he's a keeper
I had never watched a guy jack off to me before, but let me tell you, it was a very uncomfortable experience.
for me the strap perfect is like a chastity belt
I can't wait to find out the true size of his penis! Please maintain enough sobriety for an accurate report.
Hate the very realistic pregnancy dreams. Like my dream when I birthed the pirate ships. SO REAL...
im taking a nap outside. wake me up in an hour.
way to go to work and not wake me up. when you get home youre rubbing me with aloe and giving me a blowjob. no excuses
After you verbally abused the McDonalds employee for not making your fries fast enough, the fact that you woke up on a random lawn does not surprise me.
I have whiskey and jager. There's no telling what kind of monster will emerge
after the shots you kept on yelling "this is for the dreamers"
I wish I'd realized he looked like Skrillex before I was already in the middle of fucking him...
i woke up inside a girl that i promised i would take on a date to Chili's
I just got a voicemail from some strange woman with a Russian accent. Are you ok?
You know Sunday Funday was a success when 'puke and rally' came at lunchtime on Monday.
Shriek
Dont worry, the Canadians are more afraid of you then you are of them.
These snow days are takeing a toll on my liver
Randomize
