how much land on farmville do you have now? i sold all my shit to make room i need more money... these animals need to know I'm running a business not a charity.
First order of business is dropping my 9 am gym class. I'm sweating pure vodka.
Just getting around to doing laundry. Jesus there's a lot of blood on my birthday dress.
...She then said get into the spirit and started making firecracker noises while having sex
Then we all started singing, "Our house, in the middle of the street. Our house, fucks a lot of freshman meat". It was magical.
i have a wrist watched drawn on my wrist that it says shot o clock
just got in my apt...and theres jungle juice here i left from over a month ago..this could be interesting...or deadly
I usually don't buy birthday presents for my booty calls
But you'll make an exception
probably not
It's always a good night until the penis tattoo makes an appearance
Soooo fucked this chick last night! While fucking she started talking into the fan on the side of my bed. Does that count as sex with a robot
We got way too high so we're sitting in the parking lot of the movies trying to figure out what bar to go to
Also-when I die, I want it to be with my arms above my head so that when rigor mortis sets in, my breasts are perky.
So apparently it wasn't anything really bad, it's hemorrhoids. Which is the medical word for butthurt. I actually have ass ointment.
I fucked R2D2 last night. I consider Star Wars day a success.
Needless to say, I did not go home with him cause he kinda resembled a guppy fish.
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