We will have to stop frequently for food, stretching legs, interesting things on the side of the road, and sex. So you might as well eat.
Everytime I cough, my tampon falls out a little bit. Does this mean I'm loose?
He walked in and put an x made out of tape on the floor. He then announced that he was going to pass out there. Cocky or strategic?
Who would we be if we didn't go out to drink during finals week? NOBODY
i wanted to ask her what his dick looked like but i thought that would be weird for the first time i met her
And theres a reasonable expectation that if you're fighting over a pair of yoga pants on the ground at VS someones gonna videotape it
I know it's not technically the "Mile High Club" but we def need a name for the airport bathroom. Cuz that just happened.
There are twenty thousand men on this campus, please have sex with someone who isn't my drug dealer
Mmhmmm. I have a list of drunk achievement that is almost as long as my list of stoned achievements
The other day I was really high and I felt like my words were coming out of my mouth in flowers...I don't know.
Every time I start to think he's just not worth the trouble, he puts his face down there and I wanna buy him a car
i just told him to get ready, because I'm going to be taking out my anger over the Super Bowl out on his penis.
like when you break up with someone your virginity slowly starts to grow back & when it's done it's like ding ding ding you're ready to date again
Ripping out my IUD in Dave and busters bathroom
That was the first time ive ever slept with a girl with a q in her name
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