Spring semester is just not the same w/o you
she was so not down for the gang bang
Skinny jeans should not be made in size 14. Then, it's just a lie.
i'm drinking with a bunch of phds, i feel very stupid but good about my drinking abilities
I stayed up for hours making sure you didnt pass out in a mountain of your own puke. But when I heard you yell AWWWW FUUCCKK, somehow I knew everything would be ok
Selling Girl Scout Cookies outside bars for higher than retail value has got to be the most profitable idea. Ever.
But i don't feel like talking to him right now. I woke up an hour ago to a picture of his penis and I AM NOT A MORNING PERSON.
Aaaaand then she sang MDMA to the tune of the YMCA song, with appropriate gestures.
Serious question...Is it possible to get a DUI on a kayak?
we have what I like to call an assload of ramen noodles
Dude. The amount of love and appreciation from a house full of stoners when you come home at 4 am with donuts is overwhelming. The kind of love to make Jesus have to work a little harder at his unconditional love thing.
The only flat surface we had was a cheez it box so we snorted the blow off of that. Rock bottom really isn't that bad.
I know this is a weird question but we both had pants on when my mom woke us up last night right?
If you fucking touch my phone and text people, drunk or sober, ever again, i will shove a swizle stick up your pee hole.
His sisters are going to have a heyday finding all those condoms in their bunk beds.
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