pretend to be my girlfriend and sign me up for tool academy
i wish i could tell you the night didnt begin with me drinking alone
Do you know any thirteen year old jewish kids? I'm looking for a party.
He sent me $300 worth of sex toys. My clitoris went into hiding after two days.
at some point i feel off my bar stool straight into the arms of a gay guy. just my luck.
I have the perfect view of a sexy blonde in yoga pants stretching from the shoulder press machine. I'll be here all night. So glad I came high.
Ur here with me in spirit. Now run free. Run free
ur mom makes the best bacon
WHAT ARE YOU DOING IN MY HOUSE
But if you were going to pour a liquid on your naked body in fall its definitely pumpkin inspired something.
He visits one Denver strip club and now hes moving there
You've gotta make sure the carpets match the drapes, though.
I am not dying my bush blue.
Some guy just ordered at Cosmo and 2 screwdrivers in the sky club at 8:30 am. I'm starting to feel a lot better about my alcoholism
I literally just force feed a guy flintstone vitamins after sex
Your uterus is safe from my father's misconstrued prophecies.
It was a glorious ass. He has amazing hands. I want to fuck him until he can't do math anymore.
dont ever go to laser tag drunk. you will be judged.
Randomize
