Sandwiches eeeeeeverywhere.
can you take me to a tanning bed
sure, why though?
i have to go once so i can blame these herpes on the tanning bed and she won't get suspicious
I've never had a woman show me her venereal disease results in a bar before.
Too late, the blunt's already in my cleavage
Guy in our group took down a chick in a wheelchair last night.
Highlight of my weekend: having my card suspended due to "suspicious charges" and standing in line at the gas station yelling at customer service on the phone that I really did go to 4 different strip clubs in one night
Hes still mad that I left the room mid-hookup to go get a pickle from the fridge.
she tends to only attract lesbians and homeless men
Alls I remember is making out with that chick.
Nope that was a dude
It's tough not drinking when the bartender adds rum to your coke without telling you, and doesn't charge you
It felt as if we were fucking on a sea of baby feet and morgan freemans face hair
My Dicks been hard all day. Poor guy isn't used to vacation being over
My Easter dress smells like alcohol, men, and bad decisions
There's nothing classy about a pregnant girl at a frat party...remember that.
when i woke up with rugburns on the tops of my feet, knees, and chin i was a little confused. and then i remembered i had sex with him in his friends walk in closet.
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