she cant drink. allergic to alcohol.
ewwww. she might as well have a dick.
I had to get a ride home from that girl that slept with 3/4 of the band
Let's hear it for middle of the street handjobs ladies and gentlemen
Pretty sure that this text will cost me like $5 but just wanted you to know that I just smoked a bowl of kush, about to walk around shopping for hookers and i get 3 credit hours for this study abroad .... have fun studying for finals.
It's summer and yet I still can't have one library session w/o seeing someone who has had their penis in me.
just wrote a 6 page paper on my blackberry. including 3 sources. college is teaching me good things so far.
you made sure you came back for your bottle of vodka but didn't remember to take your shoes
Would it be safe to assume you're the one that left my front door wide open and left yourself a trail of jaeger drops to find your way back?
We need large glitter to throw at people to signify our mystic nature
Fuck their feelings and their drinks they will get hit with sparkly confetti
we passed out in our seats at the game for about 3innings. I guess they showed it on the big screen. nap n rally!
Going to the bathroom drunk while wearing overalls is such a struggle
Did I send you a drunk selfie with a pine tree last night?
Still riding the magical train of drugs so, yeah, Id say I feel great
don't worry, i'll dog sit again, the barking made the sex better, its like he was cheering for us, we were just THAT good.
Is that your Nuva ring on the floor? Shit must have gotten crazy
Randomize
