her nipple to breast ratio was just odd
its like they have never seen someone walk through campus with a plunger
Seriously.......what do you have to do to get arrested in Vegas???
at the topless march for equality..and wow.not all these boobs should be treated equally
Wait, how is it that I'm just getting ready to go out and you're already showing your penis to freshmen girls?
You know, I had the money for a pregnancy test, but at the time, tacos were more important.
just found out i can blow out the flame on the grill lighter fill my mouth with butane and ignite a fireball
Why is it so hot and why are these the only pants in my life.
Told the cab driver to take me to narnia last night. Turns out there's a bar called narnia on the south side of town. We are in business
Well.. If you trust a test that only costs a dollar, I'm not pregnant
Watching a bear prancing around in a tiara is worth a loss of bar time.
She's 90% sass and 10% boobs
You were petting a 40 year old man's moustache for 15 minutes
He told me he would make me come so hard I would throw up. I'm actually horrified that he thinks that's something any person would want
eveytime i go to his house my cute clothes always get taken off what's the point of even wearing them there?
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