i can juggle bunnies
cool
on fire
was i over the top when i said that i wished they made v-neck pants to her?
I caved and texted him. But it's strictly drug dealing business so it doesn't count.
there's something so ridiculous to me about watching someone with glasses exercising. it's like watching a whore studying in the library. stop trying to be someone you're not.
The guy i fucked last week got done first on the test in my 900 person class. If im pregnant at least it will be smart.
I like your house better though. Cause it has febreeze and lube.
I don't think you have any idea how kinky that sounds.
He poured all of the vodka into the sweet tea and said that tomorrow it would be called 'surprise drunk.' then we had sex.
What I do when I'm blackout drunk is none of my business.
his daughter has his phone and goesss ohhh boobies and shows me a picture of my own tits...
Try eating a sub blackout with your uncle. It's not easy ok
DUDE. HOLY FUCK MY PRINCIPAL WAS JUST MY UBER DRIVER. I AM LITERALLY TRAUMATIZED. ANS DRUNK. HOLY FUCK OMG
You know how I said I hit my head so hard I saw two of him and tried to make out with both? Well, it turns out he has a twin.
I dunno that I'd be trusting enough of junkyard tequila to drink it.
No dude 10 parakeets in your bedroom is 9 parakeets too many. Bring them back. Today!
Campus scavenger hunt! and by scavenger hunt I mean all the pharmacies are sold out of Plan B.
Randomize
