I cant believe you went over there and fucked her last night after everything you said
she invited me over to play the wii, it's not like i intended to
You KNEW her power was out...
he puts the penis in happiness.
i just farted in a meeting....took me completely by surprise.
so you made the shocked face and they caught you.
yup.
Well his aunt was in the next room so we had to be quiet. I felt like i was on an episode of silent library.
There is nothing like getting stoned and spying on people with binoculars
i broight you flpweers amd vodka. open yoir bask door
I'm on my "fiiiiirrrst" glass of wine- the quotes mean it's the last of the bottle- so I really need you to pick up your phone so we can talk about this
he's dressed up as pikachu 3 fucking years in a row and gotten laid each time. i don't understand
There are several different types of life sentences in my purse right now.
Im making gravy in a lace bra and jeans. Just call me the southwern wet dream
Well, at some point in her life every girl has to decide how much weird she's willing to tolerate for hot tall banker cock
Fair warning: I will be throwing corn dogs at you every time I see you this week.
I'm gonna snort this pill I found on the ground cause that's how classy I am. Watch football and eat Beef jerky. Domesticated at its finest.
apparently in the middle of sex, i said "i just really love the food network i watch it every day"
I am listening to my ipod while i puke, this is most entertaining hangover i have ever had.
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