Its not alright that i make out with a manican.
ok 1 i realized people actually live in central wisconsin and 2 culvers could be a good place to pick up chicks today
Those balls look pretty dangerous.
Weird shit dude, I just realized that the girl I fucked last night looks like Shaun White's twin sister. I dunno if I should be scared or turned on
I hope her Double McTwist was as good as his
If we have to be apart I understand. Being separated is probably best for our relationship now. I look forward to our booty calls.
I've grown up since last year. I don't give blow jobs as birthday presents anymore.
masturbating while the coffee brews is the new power nap
He just kept yelling "body massage machine go" at random intervals throughout the night
No, the responsible one does not yell out "lets go to iHop" at 5 in the morning to a bunch of drunk people with munchies.
I normally need adult supervision or a babysitter, but I refuse to let someone keep me from making irresponsible and wrong decisions at the bar on my last bday ill ever have in texas
do you think this outfit says "I maintained my dignity this weekend"?
At first it will make you think "how is this physically possible?" and then it will ruin an entire food group for you.
then I ended up getting a lapdance from my TA...I love college.
Drunk me just want to text sober me for saving that half rack of ribs I loves you
how do you tell someone, in the most complimentary way possible, that they would make an excellent stripper?
Randomize
