Hahaha, sighhhh...I texted him to no response. It's a shame, really...I would gladly exchange my body for pizza rills.
A hard boiled egg and a shot of tequila is not brunch.
on the last problem of the exam i just drew a picture of a cat and left
he thinks im joking when i say don't visit. i mean it's summer...he was the college fuck and now it's time for the summer fuck
One night stand. Woke up at her dad's house. She already left for work. Shit's about to go down.
I definitely recall eating shredded cheese out of the bag while you were wearing that apron.
On the one year anniversary of me loosing my virginity... thousands of people will be taking their pants of on subways all around the world
It's like a tribute to you being a slut
I am still STD free so as far as I am concerned I never went to panama.
We crashed a rave, threw glitter all over Gay Dan and the bartender, broke a chandelier and called ourselves the Kings of Neon.
How was it playing wingman?
I feel like I was rockys coach watching him get the shit beaten out of him by Apollo creed
Did he think I was flirting with him when I ordered a hot dog bc no
Thought about it. I'm gonna go to work, but I'm gonna tell them I wrestled a bear saying I fell just isn't working.
There is a special place in hell for people who only eat the center of the pot brownies.
Had a one night stand and didnt remember the guys name until he started sending me poems in the mail.
He eats kale on the regular. Do I look like a bitch that wants to eat kale. No. Give me some Boston market.
Randomize
