but i got with him after midnight so its technically 2 days
With the way things had been going, I was never more excited for a person to cum
Some dude just bet me $8 I couldn't smoke a pack of cigarettes in an hour...It sounds stupid, but I really wanna do it. If I survive, I'll have $8 and it'll look good on my resume.
He burnt a smiley face into the screen with a cigarette, peed in my tub and then tried to take off his pants. tried...
Maybe you shouldn't go to cosmic bowling, i don't know if cum glows and I don't wanna find out i'm sure his parents don't either.
I think i morst likely have 95 %patulas for hands and probably i also went to eGypt with so manyfriends. We laids in the sarcaphoguses.
You sound pretty unsure about all of this.
remember when I told you about my grandma asking me about my sex scars? Less comfortable than that
Everything was going great until my fake mustache fell off when we started making out.
Why is our fridge full of girl scout cookies and rum?
You told me to go grocery shopping.
Puke-y regrets or just things-seem-far-away regrets?
he took a fucking pitcher of koolaid and vodka to the bath with him... i wake up from my blackout to his roomate screaming cause he spilled it and passed out in the middle of a blood red tub. she thought he killed himself. jesus christ its only the first day of break and i already regret coming home
He ate me out while I was playing bejeweled. It was the greatest moment of my life.
I'm sorry, but the bed has won this battle. I got up, changed my shirt, combed my hair, put on some deodorant, and then looked at my bed and got back in
I probably should have told her I was actually the drunkest one there before she let me pierce her ear
Just remember I’m your roommate with extremely questionable morals
Exactly, what could possibly go wrong
Randomize
