the Monday before Thanksgiving is not a Monday at all. Just Thursday in Monday suit.
the choice between paying your electricity bill and getting herpes medicine is a tough one.
I learned an important lesson this weekend.... I'm way to good at sex to travel for it. From now on he drives here...
Hey so when you left last night was i wearing shoes?
Long story short he broke into a preschool and threw all their cones into a tree.
we were making out in my truck and while she was straddling me she informs me that she jerks off horses for a living. Should I be concerned or flattered?
I did a kegel this morning to determine if I had been penetrated during last night's blackout. Nope.
I sent my boyfriend to the bar so I could go out tonight and actually get laid..
I've talked to too many cops in one week and I haven't even committed any crimes. I hate the suburbs
I would just like to say that I had morning sex today to the Hamilton soundtrack. So.
He KNOWS ALL THE WORDS TO "JESUS IS MY FRIEND", I swear if he even tries to pull shit with me I'm becoming an actual nun.
In theory, it seemed like it would work.
TRY TO UNDERSTAND I HAVE MAGIC POWERS HOLY FUCKING SHIT
I asked him to get me another beer, and he started making muffins.
I've slapped too many boys and done too many naked laps for it only to be 10:30pm
Randomize
