I think men at large are the problem in most or all relationships. It's like trying to drag a three-legged retarded puppy through an obstacle course
as for my dating sex life, no more regret sticks. Only pride wands from now on.
watching a tv show about cocaine.. just explained to my mom why the test monkey chose coke over food
you said you didn't feel like drinking anymore so you mixed vodka with your applesauce and ate it
let's put it this way: i'm gonna stop drinking and get a gym membership. she's that hot
thanks for being my moral compass. and thanks for not always pointing north so i can be slutty and not feel bad about it.
Um...It has come to my attention that I may have said some rather vulgar things about Sean Connery to you and anyone listening last night, so...I apologize for that. I meant the things I said. But still. Sorry.
Goodbye spring break, hello depressing video on AIDS.
Captain America stopped by our tailgate. He ate a taco.
Also I'm at the pub and there are old lady pirates gyrating on a pole. I wish you were here.
Not at all! I'll let your potential employer know you have a huge dick
Do you think they manscape in the zombie apocalypse?
her nickname was handjob. I knew what i was getting into.
I'm noticing I drink less and do fewer lines when I do both together.
Now that's what I call smart money management.
I remember is someone saying "I smell weed" and then having a room full of sober high school kids look at me.
Randomize
